Nurse: Have you had an HIV test before?
Sam: No.
Nurse: Do you swallow?
Sam: Only when surprised.
Nurse: How many sexual partners did you have?
(...)
Sam: I'm counting!
(...)
Sam: This year?

Lexy: New York is over. O-V-E-R. I'm so bored I could die.
(she skips and falls out of the window)
Carrie: It was the first time Lexy left a party earlier.

Sam: Really, I can barely keep my clothes on...
Carrie: What was your excuse before the quimio?

Breaking and vibrating

Sam: I think my maid is using my vibrator.
Charlotte: I don't think you're supposed to say 'maid' anymore.
Carrie: I don't think you're supposed to say 'vibrator' over dinner.
Sam: I'm telling you! I went into the kitchen to get it...
Miranda: Wait, why was it in the kitchen?!
Sam: Well, I like to mix it up. But yesterday the batteries were dead.
Harry: I think you have a potencial lawsuit in your hands.
Miranda: What, breaking and vibrating?
Stanford: As long as it's not entering...